Uni is made up of a multitude of people, all different and individual…saying that you’ll definitely meet at least one of these irritating stereotypes.
Library Badger
This person basically exists to make you feel like a terrible person. They’ll constantly be on their way to the library. Spending evenings there to do some extra research, going there between lectures rather than procrastinating on social media and overspending on coffees like the rest of us normal people. They’ll probably have a spot that they regularly sit in and rant savagely about the annoying students who talk or make out between the books. This person is however a useful friend, when deadlines and exams are approaching, going to the library badger’s favorite haunt to get your study on can prove very helpful, because you know they are a pro at getting their head down and working.
The Fluker
Opposite to the library badger, is the worst kind of person to ever exist, ever (totally not an exaggeration.) I have met so many versions of this student, and weirdly, they’ve all been guys. The Fluker is the person that always does super well, despite doing little to no work. They’re never in lectures, they leave their coursework to the day before, and can be regularly heard uttering the phrases ‘I only need 40% to pass’ or ‘lol mine was so bad I’m gonna fail’. They then proceed to get a first and a better grade than you leaving you wanting to throttle them. The fluker is the absolute worst and there is a special circle of hell reserved for them (again not overreacting.)
The Mythical Creature
This person is amazing, slightly concerning and could well be half mythical creature. They’re a party animal, to such a degree that they have a Mick Jagger amount of ridiculous stories from their escapades. They are usually an absolute nightmare to get hold of and are definitely not the type of person you want to get stuck on a group project with, because in terms of uni, they’re probably useless and rarely sober, on the other hand, there is potential for a crossbreed of the fluker and the mythical creature, combined as one, frustrating and bewildering hybrid. They may have a tendency to be a little flakey and quite often tend to become a slight urban legend, but hold a fire enough house party, and you bet, like a bloodhound, they’ll sniff it out, making it ten times better when they arrive with their antics.
Mummy Daddy Privilege Kid
Depending on your uni, the concentration of these will vary. This person rocks up in daddy’s Range Rover, head to toe in Jack Wills (bonus for striped rugby style shirt with turned up collar), carrying in an entire kitchen of brand new John Lewis utensils and appliances. The irony is, they will never use any of these items as they have no idea how to cook, seeing as they have always had dinner served to them. Think JP from Fresh Meat, it’s literally him. Combine them with my gap yah student from my previous article and you have a deadly, upper middle class super power.
LDR, Never Single Girl
Now, just because I have spent time mocking a load of other student tropes, I will bite the bullet and rip on myself as well, I am fully aware that I am this student and I’m super annoying. This person starts uni with a boyfriend at home, spends most evenings calling and pining, generally being a pain about it. They ultimately have relationship problems that they spend most nights in the kitchen whining about, and end up splitting up. Leaving them disoriented. After a while, and to your relief they resolve to have fun and be single. For a brief period, this person turns into a little party animal riot, and they prove for a lot of entertainment, especially to live vicariously through. Then, bam! Before you can blink they have a new beau that they’re pining over and moaning about how awful and difficult relationships are, all over again. This cycle can happen anything between one and 4 times during your uni career and this person is a whiney, exasperating nightmare. The likelihood is they’re like me and are fully aware they are like this, but can’t resist being a terrible person and repeating the cycle, they are the living embodiment of this meme…
Use this blog post like Pokemon cards, collect them all! Learn each character’s powers and weaknesses and how to just about tolerate them.
