Only recently in my early thirties! Growing up I always knew that I was different though and that I approached things in different way.
I find it upsetting when someone might say I am (or those who are neurodivergent are) ‘awkward’, ‘challenging’, ‘picky’ or a ‘pain’.
It has felt challenging and often VERY contradictory.
Recently I have started an apprenticeship alongside my role, which has been both eye-opening and extremely challenging. I do not know how I managed to achieve my first-class degree in History from Essex! It has been a real learning curve for me in terms of learning and a conversation I have had with the education provider. I have however started using dictate and read aloud not only in my course, but also in my daily work life when using programs like word!
It means I often feel a lot of empathy for others and can tell when someone is going through a challenging time without them saying anything. I see things from different perspectives – and challenge and question the status quo (sorry, but not sorry to my line manager and head of service for this!). I can notice patterns or pick up miniscule errors and mistakes easily which can bug me (sorry to my team for this!).
You can often face microaggressions and stigma. People can belittle your lived experience, with comments such as, ‘isn’t everyone neurodivergent nowadays?’ I try to educate others and explain my own experiences and challenge misconceptions.
I am currently going through the process of getting formal diagnoses through the NHS – which is lengthy and somewhat stressful.
It has been an enlightening experience for my family, and has made them understand me more.
People are often shocked when I tell them – and I often get comments such as them not thinking ‘someone like me’ would be neurodivergent. Sometimes it leads to jokey comments.
As a manager and inspiring future leader I always try to be open and honest about my journey and the struggles and champion EDI - this often leads others to feel empowered to discuss their own experiences with myself and enables it to be an open talking point at work and in my person-life.
I became more self-aware of why I sometimes felt or reacted in certain ways. I felt more comfortable communicating why I might face challenges with others around me.
Having a plan for the day - although I always ignore it… but it can make me spiral if others don’t fit in to the plan I have for the day (I know it’s totally contradictory!)
Trying to take regular short breaks – and going for a walk at lunchtime around our beautiful Colchester campus when I am in the office. Trying to be outside and as active as possible and away from doom scrolling on TikTok!
Making notes on my phone, when ideas or thoughts pop in to my head – so I don’t forget them and to avoid interrupting others when I have thoughts!
When collaboration or problem-solving is needed!
People not being sympathetic or understanding of my needs.
I am introverted – so it can take a lot out of me to be social or outgoing at work. This has led to me becoming somewhat of an expert at masking – which can be extremely tiring and lead to burnout.
At work I can find meetings after 3pm challenging as I start to disengage with the day and become tired from masking. I ask those around me to limit meetings to 45 minutes where possible, to allow for a 15 minute break for my next meeting! This prevents me from becoming disengaged so I can get up and move around. It’s also good to have an agenda prior to a meeting and then notes following up, so it is clear what actions are expected from everyone involved.
Bright lights and noisy busy offices can be challenging and can distract me easily and become over stimulating.
I can struggle with spelling or articulating things verbally well – this can then lead me to spend too long on the wording of emails, or how I could have explained something better. And sometimes I can mix words up.
I can struggling with eye contact and can sometimes come across abrupt without meaning to when communicating. I prefer clear and direct communication styles and the ability to take process information in my own time.
At work I have always tried not to have things within my reach that I will fidget with and therefore distract others – this could be things such as not wearing rings or tying my hair up out of the way.
Having flexibility where possible at work. Being able to work from home or in the office more flexibly. I like to work on campus as this gives me the structure I often need, to ensure I take breaks, go for a walk and work efficiently. However, sometimes when I need a lot of focus I benefit from working from home, or in a space alone. I find it better to plan days or times in my dairy to focus on task such as admin – and keep this time clear from meetings. However, I need to be aware that I do not become too hyper focused when I am working from home.
Not everyone’s lived experience is the same and neurodivergence doesn’t look or present one way!
Masking is extremely tiring! I have become so good at masking that people don’t realise I am neurodivergent when they first meet me.
That my daily coffee on campus can help to make me feel calm and focused!
I often find myself gravitating to others who are neurodivergent (and now realise I have throughout my life).
That neurodiversity looks one way or another. That all neurodivergence is the same.
Neurodiversity can vary and that you do not have to put a label on it!
That more individuals are aware of and feel able to request reasonable adjustments when it comes to recruitment processes – and then within the workplace. And the continuation of employers ensuring that their recruitment practices are as inclusive as possible.
That people do not feel the need to mask as much as I have throughout my life, to feel like they have to fit in to the workplace.
That colleagues who were neurodivergent feel able to disclose this, without feeling judged.
Leaders who embed neuro-inclusion into workplace culture.
That people would not assume things about neurodivergent colleagues or that everyone’s lived experience is the same.
Try and find others who have also gone through this personal journey including those in the relevant staff forum, who can support you (or even a mentor to support you in the workplace!). If you feel comfortable to, let your line manager, your peers and importantly your own line reports know about the journey you are going on.